


a moment of beauty

by 21byuns



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Murder, Mystery, island boy baekhyun, writer jongdae but thats beside the point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/21byuns/pseuds/21byuns
Summary: Jongdae inherits his late grandparents house in Japan. He leaves behind his life in Seoul in exchange for quiet nights and more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Side Relationships
Comments: 22
Kudos: 51





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i know i'm being super vague with everything but that's kind of the point. you'll see. 
> 
> title is taken from [ uhm jung hwa's 'ending credit'](https://youtu.be/k-F4XfTXliA)

_ It’s fine,  _ Jongdae thinks as he pulls up to the decrepit house. “It’s fine,” he repeats out loud, not sure who he is trying to convince. Maybe himself. 

Clean up the house. Make it live-able. He wasn’t going to be living here forever. He had a home back in Korea. Jongdae would make his grandparents place into more of a...home and then he would sell it. He had a life to get back to. A person to get back to. 

Jongdae supposes he’ll be fine. He used to come here every summer and run around the hills from dusk till dawn. Some days he would go down to the beaches. Some days his grandfather would take him into town. He never knew what anyone was saying considering he didn’t speak Japanese but the townspeople were kind to him anyways, always giving him little extra treats. 

On other days, he’d stay in with his grandparents, listening to their stories, helping around the house. His grandfather would always show him how to do things. Fix the sink, replace a window, even going so far as to put in new floors. He had never once complained, always feeling happier here than with his parents in Seoul. They were never home anyways. 

Puffs of dust fly as he sets down his duffel bag and suitcase in the entryway. Everything looks the same and yet...so empty. There’s sheets covering pieces of furniture and a few paintings sitting in the corner of the living room. 

Jongdae notices it’s a bit on the colder side and he decides it’s best to get the fireplace going since the heat doesn’t always work the best. By some stroke of luck, there’s still wood stacked in a little pile next to the brick fireplace in the living room and Jongdae sighs. He doesn’t have a lighter. He doesn’t even know if the one his grandfather always left in the cupboard still works - it had been one of those old flip open ones and the last time he’d seen it, it was covered in rust. 

He heads to the kitchen which is covered in a fine layer of dust and grime. The fridge thankfully still works. Jongdae had made sure of that, calling his grandparent’s will executor to make sure everything ran at least well enough to be live-able before he moved in. It takes a bit of searching through the drawers but Jongdae finds the right one and pulls out the lighter. It’s...shiny. He shakes it, holding it close to his ear and hears the lighter fluid slosh around. Maybe his memory wasn’t as great as he thought. His grandfather could have gotten it cleaned sometime before passing. Maybe Jongdae is just tired. He had flown for hours and then driven for quite a while as well. 

Once he gets the fire going and the house heated up significantly, it’s dark outside. Jongdae doesn’t feel like going back out to the car and grabbing the rest of his things. He settles for heading up the creaking stairs and finding his old room. 

He passes his grandparents room and the couple of spare rooms until he gets to the end of the hall, his door staring back at him. Jongdae isn’t sure why his grandparents had him staying in the room at the end of the hallway. He thinks it’s the setup for a cheesy scary movie. He chuckles to himself before opening the heavy wooden door to reveal a nearly empty room. It looks the same as the rest of the house. Covered in blankets and dust. All of his old toys, pictures on the wall and other random pieces of his childhood are gone. The room is completely bare save for the bed, wardrobe and vanity. 

Jongdae tugs the sheets off the vanity and wardrobe, folding them up and setting them in the bottom of the giant wardrobe. He rummages around in it and manages to find his old bed sheets. They smell moldy and they’re a bit...more stiff than he would've liked but it’s not like he can do much tonight. 

It doesn’t take long to get the bed sheets on and to change into a giant sweatshirt and sleep pants. The bathroom that connects to his room is barely big enough but somehow it fits a sink, toilet and claw-foot tub. He’s too drained to take a bath, also already warm and cozy in his sleep clothes, instead he brushes his teeth and cleans his face. 

The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he jerks back quickly, turning around to look into his room. There’s nothing. Just the same room as always. Jongdae frowns, rubbing the back of his neck. It was probably a draft. It’s an old house. There’s definitely a draft. He’s psyching himself out because it’s an old house. He thinks Minseok made him watch too many scary movies lately. That’s all. 

He clicks off the light and heads to bed but not before closing his door firmly and pulling the blinds on the window shut. He’s not scared, just...covering all the bases. It’s an old empty house in the countryside. Easy target for any criminal or house raider. He’s just being safe. Protecting his assets. 

It’s not long before he falls asleep. The last thing he thinks of is how the house is still so cold. 

༻❁༺

Jongdae wakes to the smell of something cooking which is wrong for various reasons. He freezes in bed, mind racing. To be completely honest with himself, he’s fucking terrified. He tries to rationalize. Would a killer cook him breakfast? Probably not. Unless they were strange and had some sort of weird ritual. He’s not sure. His car is out front as well. If a killer was going to surprise him, would he be in the kitchen, alerting Jongdae to his presence? Probably not again but Jongdae has heard of stranger things. The only thing he knows is that he can’t quite stay in bed all day. 

Just to be safe, Jongdae grabs his toothbrush. Maybe he can throw it at the person and run away. He can’t afford to throw his phone. Trying to get another one this far away from civilization would be a nightmare. He can only hope that the creaking of the stairs doesn’t betray his sneak attack. 

To his surprise, the stairs hold their vow of silence to him and he quietly thanks them as he slowly pads towards the kitchen. He notices he’s still barefoot when he feels just how cold his toes are. The fire must’ve gone out last night while he was sleeping. He’ll have to buy more firewood, or go out looking for some. 

“Are you planning on killing me with a toothbrush?” A deep and very male voice asks from inside the kitchen and Jongdae’s heart pounds loudly.  _ Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. _

“Are _you_ planning on killing _me_?” Jongdae throws back and slaps his own face.  _ Ask the killer if they’re going to kill you. Genius.  _

The man steps around the corner of the wall separating the stairway from the kitchen and stands over Jongdae. He is the tallest person Jongdae has ever met. Also the most...innocent looking serial killer. 

“If I wanted to kill you, why would I cook for you?” The guy asks and Jongdae loosens his death-like grip on the toothbrush. 

“Some sort of weird ritual? Aren’t serial killers like that?” 

Tall man laughs and it’s loud, like a drunk uncle laugh but it makes him softer around the edges. He covers his mouth while laughing and reaches out with his other hand to grip Jongdae’s shoulder like he’s just heard the funniest thing in twenty years. “How many crime shows do you watch Kim Jongdae?”

Jongdae freezes. “I never told you my name.” He narrows his eyes and suddenly he wishes the toothbrush was pointy on one end. 

The other guy’s face twists back into a confused expression. He tilts his head and stares at Jongdae curiously. “Jongdae, I look over this house. Your grandparent’s executor should’ve told you this. I worked for them the last couple of years, taking care of them and this house. Of course he told me your name, considering I’m still employed here.”

It’s a valid excuse but he’s still not off the hook yet. “Why does everything look like shit then? And why don’t I get to know your name?”

He chuckles and holds out a hand. It’s only then that Jongdae notices the other guy is wearing a blue frilled apron. “I’m Park Chanyeol. We don’t have to speak so formally if you don’t want to.” 

Jongdae takes his hand gingerly and shakes. “Okay,” he frowns. “So what are you cooking?”

Chanyeol smiles at him like Jongdae asked the greatest question in the world and he tugs him into the kitchen. “I wasn’t sure what you would like so I cooked a lot. It’s American food because it always looked so good any time I’ve seen it.”

“You haven’t had pancakes before?” Jongdae questions. He notices the kitchen has been cleaned and there are actual dishes and tableware in all the cupboards. “Did you clean the kitchen too?”

“Yeah, I got here early this morning. I would’ve come last night but I got caught up in some personal business.” 

Jongdae frowns and narrows his eyes at Chanyeol wondering why he only seems to answer one question. He’s about to further interrogate the other man but his stomach grumbles and he realizes he can't look intimidating if his stomach is growling every second. Jongdae sighs, accepting his fate and grabs one of the plates and heaps pancakes onto it. He’s a healthy growing boy. Needs all the food he can get - at least that’s what he tells himself when he demolishes nearly five pancakes without speaking. 

“So…” Chanyeol begins when he takes a seat in the little dining nook in front of the window. Jongdae finishes chewing and stares at him, eyebrow raised, waiting for him to continue. The other man looks oddly nervous, like he’s holding something back and Jongdae doesn’t want to read into that. He just wants to finish his pancakes in peace. “Not to sound unwelcoming or anything but,” Chanyeol’s bottom lip sticks out when he talks. A constant pout. “Why are you here exactly? Why not just sell the house as is?”

He ponders this for a moment because he had considered it. Selling it immediately. Not even bothering to take the time off work and fix it. But when he’d sat down with his grandparents executor, the decision had already been made. He owed this much to his grandparents. They’d always been there for him and this time he would be there for them. Do them this last little bit of kindness and restore their home to its former glory. 

“I just...owed it to my grandparents. This wasn’t just a place to live,” He looks Chanyeol in the eyes, “It was a home.” 

Chanyeol nods, face brightening like he understands. “Your grandparents,” he smiles warmly at Jongdae, “They were kind people. They took care of me just as much as I cared for them.” There’s a hint of sadness there and Jongdae wonders how much time Chanyeol spent with them. Jongdae feels his own heart clench at the thought. He hadn’t quite realized other people besides himself could be affected by their death. “Thank you for choosing to care for the house. I wouldn’t know what to do if it was going to be sold to some random buyer. Who’s to say whether they’d hire me on too?”

“So you’re here full time?” Jongdae questions and takes a sip of water. “You mentioned you were stuck because of personal problems, I assume that means you don’t live here then.”

The other man blinks and shakes his head, runs his hand through his fluffy hair. “Yeah, I live down the road. It’s close to here though, so I usually walk every morning. Sometimes your grandparents would insist that I stayed the night when the weather was bad. So if you ever see any of my stuff in the spare room, it’s just mine.” 

Jongdae nods, accepting this information. “If you need to stay in the future, you can,” he tells Chanyeol. “Just let me know.” 

Conversation seems to still from there when Chanyeol accepts the offer graciously and begins cleaning up. Jongdae helps with what he can, not really sure what to do considering half of the kitchen is still covered in a layer of fine dust. 

“If you want, the garden needs some work today,” Chanyeol mentions while washing a plate. Jongdae thinks the other man must have sensed his unease and he smiles. “I have to get the rest of my things from the car but then we can work on it together?” Jongdae asks.

“Good idea,” Chanyeol answers and leaves it at that. Jongdae doesn’t push the conversation any further and heads outside. Hell, it seems like everything gathers dust if it’s left sitting for more than five minutes. His own car is covered - he assumes probably from the drive last night. Jongdae pops the trunk to grab out a couple more bags, mainly clothes and shoes, along with some tools to fix up the place. It’s not much but he knows his grandfather will have more stored away in the basement. 

He hauls everything in and notices Chanyeol’s absence from the kitchen. It’s cleaner than before. Jongdae figures the other must be pretty used to cleaning the house and can get it done quicker. “I’m not sure where you are but I’ll be out back in just a little. I’m going to put my other clothes and tools away,” Jongdae calls to the seemingly empty house. When he doesn’t get a response he shrugs and heads back upstairs. As his fingers trace the railing, he notices it too is free from dust. He frowns but continues on to his room nonetheless. 

Jongdae stares at his room through the open doorway and thinks back to when he used to come here. In the corner used to sit a beanbag chair. He would read there until his grandmother came up to get him, often getting lost in the stories. Some of his paintings used to be taped in that same corner to the walls. Of course back then he thought he was a regular Monet, especially when his grandmother used to speak so highly of his work. Thinking back on it now he wishes he would’ve believed her more. There even used to be a bookcase in the opposite corner, next to his bed. He liked having it close so he could always choose what to read next before falling asleep. 

A knock startles him from his memories and he whirls around to see Chanyeol standing in the door frame, fist hovering over the wall. “Sorry to interrupt, I just heard you earlier and you were taking so long I was just checking --”

Jongdae breathes in deeply to calm his erratic heart and waves Chanyeol’s worries away. “It’s fine, I was kind of zoned out anyways. You just snuck up on me. Thank you, I’ll be down in just a moment.” He motions to his sleep clothes, “I’m gonna change into some more appropriate clothes too.” 

“Sure, sure, take your time,” Chanyeol smiles again and rolls away from the door, heading back into the hallway. Jongdae watches him disappear and shuts his door, not wanting any further surprises any time soon. 

He heads into the bathroom to change and throws his old clothes in the hamper. As he pulls off his sweatshirt he feels that same icy feeling at the back of his neck and he jerks the sweatshirt completely off. Jongdae turns around to survey the small bathroom, ensuring nothing is there but he can’t quite help the feeling that he’s being watched.  _ It’s dumb. You’re dumb.  _ He reminds himself again that it’s an old house, bound to be cold and probably creepy. Jongdae ignores the feeling and pulls a white tee over his head, pairing it with a ratty pair of jeans that already have plenty of stains on it from painting. 

Chanyeol is indeed right. The garden out back is in major need of reparations. Nearly half of the plants and flowers are completely ruined and will need to be thrown out. The few that have lasted throughout the year or so of no care, are now growing and curling around the unlucky plants, cutting off their lifeline. Jongdae frowns, hands on his hips and meets Chanyeol’s determined gaze. 

“If we can clear the dead ones away first, it’ll probably look better and make it easier to maintain the ones that are still alive,” Chanyeol suggests. He’s standing over the little water fountain Jongdae’s grandparents insisted on having, trying to get it working again. Jongdae thinks it’s a lost cause, the pipes are probably completely rusted. 

“You take that side of the garden and I take this side?” 

Chanyeol nods warmly at him and gets right to work. Jongdae thinks that the other man isn’t that much of a talker which is odd. When Jongdae first saw him, his first impression had been that Chanyeol looked like he existed loudly. He seemed like the type of person that took control of a room without wanting to. Despite thinking he was a serial killer at that same time, Jongdae deemed him a pretty alright guy. 

They work for hours under the sun, picking weeds, replanting a few of the smaller trees in other places. Chanyeol does, in fact, get the tiny fountain to work again and Jongdae takes a break to admire their progress. He sits on the steps of the house, elbows on his knees, chin sitting atop his folded hands. He thinks about years past, sitting in this same spot with his grandfather while they took a break, drinking lemon water. Both his grandparents slaved away in the garden, always wanting it to look beautiful because they often sat out here in chairs simply enjoying the view of the mountains and each other's silent company. 

“Let’s call it a night and finish things tomorrow,” Chanyeol announces, coming to take a seat next to Jongdae. “You’ve worked up quite the sweat too,” he points out, lightly touching Jongdae’s shoulder. “Want me to make some dinner and then head out?” 

Jongdae shivers at his touch, the cool air outside mixing with his damp sweat. They probably should stop or Jongdae will make himself sick. He forgets how cold the nights get here, considering they aren’t too far away from the ocean. He stands and gently claps Chanyeol’s firm shoulder. “Sounds great, I’m gonna take a bath. Feel free to use my grandparent’s bathroom if you need. I can help with dinner if you’d like. That way you don’t have to do everything yourself.” 

He heads inside before Chanyeol can reply because he has an inkling that he knows what the other man will say. That he insists on cooking alone because it’s ‘no problem.’ He’s only known Chanyeol for a few hours but it’s almost like they’ve been friends for quite some time. 

Before he washes up, Jongdae reminds himself of how cold it is inside the house and grabs a couple more logs of firewood to set in the fireplace and gets that going. He’s not going to get out of the tub and stand in the freezing cold just because he hadn’t remembered the fireplace. 

His room remains untouched, dust still on the windowsill, furniture dull and uninviting but somehow homely at the same time. A reminder. Jongdae grabs a towel from the wardrobe and heads into the bathroom, shedding his sweaty clothes as he walks. The water runs rusty for a few seconds before clearing up and warming. He plugs it with the stopper and leans against the tiny windowsill while he waits. 

The front yard isn’t quite a front yard so much as it is a tiny clearing. His grandparent’s house is close to the oceanfront, a mile or so away and the closest house according to Chanyeol is just up the road, but other than that, Jongdae doesn’t remember a house for quite some ways. A single road, guided by cobblestone walls leads from town up to the house. Surrounding that every so often is a clumping of trees. Jongdae noticed a river alongside the road for a while until it veered off, and a bridge he had to cross over. He thinks the beauty of the house is not what is seen immediately, but when you venture back, follow the little path out of the garden and through the field into the mountains, that, is the beauty of the home. The land. 

Jongdae stirs quickly remembering the water and rushes to turn it off before the tub itself overflows. He lets a little drain before slowly sinking in, letting the heat of the water soothe his aching muscles from the hard work today. He will definitely need to slow down with the manual labor until his body gets used to it if the pain in his back is anything to go by. It’s been some time since he’s been bent over tearing up weeds for hours. He can’t think of the last time he’s done something like this actually. Seoul has turned him very much into what his grandmother would call a ‘city boy’. He smiles fondly at the memory while scrubbing away the dirt and grime. 

He dunks his head underneath the water and lets himself sit there for a few seconds, listening to his heartbeat amplified. Listening to the blood rushing and the tiny sounds of life until he needs air and breaks the surface. 

There’s someone there. Sitting at the edge of the tub. Jongdae blinks once. Twice. Wipes the water out of his eyes and yet...nothing. There’s nothing. He’s seeing things. He’s making himself see things that aren’t really there.  _ Fool.  _ Jongdae rests his arms on the edge of the tub and lies his head back with a sigh. He needs to stop watching so many scary shows with Minseok. He’s begun to delude himself that ghosts might be real. 

Just as he’s begun to drift off, Jongdae smells something cooking again and he smiles to himself. Of course Chanyeol would cook without him. Jongdae thinks soon, he will repay him. Maybe when his arms and legs begin working again, but soon. 

He towels off and changes into a soft pair of sweats and a hoodie before heading back down to the kitchen. Chanyeol greets him again with the same frilly blue apron and a warm smile. “How does  _jjajangmyeon_ sound?” 

Jongdae stares at him surprised, “Is there anything you can’t do?” 

Chanyeol gives a full bodied laugh and turns back to cooking. “I do a lot.” Jongdae busies himself with setting out some bowls and offering to dice up some of the vegetables. Chanyeol hands him one of the knives and cutting boards, instructing him to chop the zucchini. “What do  _ you  _ do?” Chanyeol questions after a few moments of silence. Jongdae winces, hoping they wouldn’t have to bring it up. 

“A lot,” Jongdae mirrors Chanyeol’s vague answer. He feels a pinch to his side and frowns. Giving up on being vague and mysterious he sighs, “I’m supposed to be a writer but at the moment I’m struggling to actually finish anything that compares to the numbers my first book did. Everyone calls me a one hit wonder.” He trails off, focusing on cutting the zucchini properly. “They’re kind of right though. Inspiration has been hard to come by. So, I’ve had to do a lot of odd jobs to keep some sort of income to my name.”

It’s quiet, save for the sound of chopping and meat sizzling. Jongdae thinks Chanyeol has almost dropped the subject before he pipes up again. “Are you here for inspiration too?”

Jongdae is surprised at the question. He can’t say he hasn’t thought about it, but he writes romance novels. No countryside home could give him the right type of inspiration he needs. “No, I told you earlier. I’m here to turn this into a home again.”

“They left you a pretty good sum of money too, you know that?” Chanyeol asks quietly. 

He nods though Chanyeol can’t see it. Jongdae thinks about the money sitting in his bank account now, the only reason why he was able to even afford coming out here. It was a lot but not enough to keep living the way he was. That’s why he couldn’t keep this house. “You know how the world is these days. Even what they gave me won’t get me far.”

Chanyeol frowns and his actions slow like he’s processing. “I guess yeah. I didn’t think about that.” Jongdae’s eyebrows knit together as he tries to find the meaning behind that but when Chanyeol resumes his previous cutting speed and cheery demeanor, he gets nothing. 

“Tell me about yourself,” Jongdae says trying to get more than a few short sentences out of the other man. He adds the zucchini to the bowl with the rest of the ingredients and leans back against the counter with his arms crossed. 

Chanyeol doesn’t look up but begins talking. “There’s not much for me to tell. I live down the road alone. My parents...died when I was younger. So it was just my sister and I for a long time but she moved away to live with her husband. I work here every day,” he turns to Jongdae, a worried look in his eyes, “That is, if that’s alright with you.” 

“You’re helpful. I need someone like that here with me. Even though I thought you were going to kill me when I first met you, I think you’re alright, so you’re free to come and go as you please. If you want to work every day, so be it,” Jongdae explains. 

The other man looks satisfied with this answer before continuing. “I enjoy reading, especially manga. Surfing down at the beach when I can, though most of the time, the waves aren’t as nice as I’d like them to be. Fishing is fun.” 

Jongdae nods, taking in all the information. “I don’t know how to surf, but maybe we can go sometime after we get the house cleaned up?”

“I’d like that yeah,” Chanyeol grins. It’s bright and kind. The type of smile Jongdae thinks only belongs to a certain type of person. Someone who smiles freely and without care. 

༻❁༺


	2. chapter 2

They’ve made progress. Slowly but surely. Removing all the sheets covering the furniture. Jongdae having a couple coughing fits because of all the dust and Chanyeol being there immediately, glass of water ready. The two guest rooms had been completely cleaned along with Jongdae’s grandparent’s room. The entire house was looking spotless, no dust in sight. It looked almost liveable if the lack of human touch wasn’t so evident. Jongdae hadn’t hung any of the paintings back up, nor gone to get any decorations. All of his grandparent’s valuables had been given away to those in need, save for a few things the house needed. The main problem was the garden, new flooring and the need for more wallpaper. The floors were going to take the longest, mainly because neither he or Chanyeol had a lot of experience in that department and couldn’t afford to hire anyone. 

Today they were taking a ‘rest day’. Chanyeol had gone to town some hours ago to get some materials for the floor and go grocery shopping. Jongdae was tasked with doing laundry. Thankfully the house was not that old that there was no laundry machine. His grandmother had insisted they get a washer and dryer because her back would always ache when she had to hang clothes on the line for hours. It was one modern convenience she would not live without. 

He hauls all of his clothes down to the basement, flicking on the light to reveal a tiny cramped basement and the washer and dryer. There’s an abundance of cobwebs down here and Jongdae tries not to reel from each and every one of them. He detests spiders on his best days. 

It doesn’t take long to get his clothes going, separating them like an actual adult because the last time he’d attempted to do laundry by throwing it all in at once, he’d broken the machine at the laundromat. Jongdae is not a superstitious person by nature but he does know that when something bad goes wrong once, it’s best not to repeat the action that brought you there. Thus, separating his colors even though he hated spending the extra time doing it. 

Satisfied with the first load, he heads back upstairs to gather up all the sheets that had begun to pile up. He thinks back to his first night here and how stiff the sheets had been then and shudders. For a week he thought he had bed bugs only to realize the sheet had simply been rubbing him wrong at night. 

There isn’t much to do when he isn’t cleaning. They hardly have any food, Chanyeol seems to cook enough to feed a village and while leftovers aren’t terrible, a lot of them go uneaten so there isn’t much for Jongdae to cook even if he wanted to. 

He decides to take Chanyeol’s advice and head down to the ocean, maybe a bit of walking will help him clear his mind and give him something to do other than sit inside the stuffy house. 

Jongdae changes into a pair of jean shorts and a thin tank top, not wanting to be overly warm considering there’s not a cloud in the sky. He decides also, that since it’s such a nice day out, he’ll open a few windows and let the place air-out. After all, there was no one around for miles and nothing inside worth stealing. 

The last time he stayed with his grandparents, summers ago, they went to the beach. His grandfather packed up their truck and insisted they drive this time so Jongdae’s grandmother’s knees wouldn’t bother her. His grandfather was like that, always looking out for others. 

He remembers the three of them sitting out in the sandy dunes, listening to the waves. He remembers chasing down birds that dared to land close to them and running around, asking his grandfather to time him and how fast he could go. 

Today, Jongdae thinks, he’ll simply enjoy the sun and sounds of the surf. There’s never anyone on the beach, even in the past it was always deserted. 

Jongdae brings a blanket and a couple of the apples Chanyeol had brought yesterday. The path to the beach is a continuation of the road to his house. One way leads into town, the other towards the ocean. He sets off at a brisk pace already regretting it when the sun hits his bare shoulders. He’s probably going to have a terrible sunburn but this is what he needs - the quiet. Time away from the busy city of Seoul. Time away from the people he left in Seoul. 

It takes just short of half an hour before the leafy greens of the forest turn into sandy dunes swept with beachgrass. In an instant he feels at home. The calm shores bring him back to a time when he was happier. Carefree. 

He chooses a spot further away from the tide in the softer, looser sand and lies the blanket down. It’s a bit windy and Jongdae hopes the weather will hold out. If it decides to storm, he’ll barely make it home in time before he’s soaked along with a sandy blanket. 

The water is ice cold when he dips his foot in. Jongdae shivers and in the back of his mind thinks about the similar feeling on the back of his neck at home. His entire body filled with immediate regret the moment he touches the water. Maybe it would be best to just keep it at ankle length. He can’t risk walking home soaking wet and freezing as dusk falls. 

He stands there for a while, staring over the horizon line, watching the waves slowly engulf his feet and pushing the sand around them. It’s not long until they’re covered with sand. He wiggles his toes and smiles to himself. It’s a bit childish but it’s been a while since he’s taken the time to enjoy the small things that bring him joy. Like watching his feet slowly sink deeper into the sand. It allows him to clear his mind. Think of nothing. Not the deadline for his book. Not of Yixing, his...something. Not of his parents who forget of his existence. It’s serene. 

Jongdae stands in the water until his toes are way past pruned but eventually steps out to enjoy the last rays of sun on his skin while lying down relaxing. He heads to his blanket, tugging his tank top off and bunching it up to use as a pillow before lying down on his back. He closes his eyes and hums a song his grandmother used to sing when she was cooking. It’s an old song about being lovesick. He remembers it fondly despite it’s lyrics because of how soothing his grandmother’s voice had been. She would sing it, grabbing his hands and slowly dancing around their kitchen while they cooked. Back then he hadn’t appreciated it as much as he should have but that’s how kids are. 

There’s someone watching him. Standing at the edge of the surf. Their hair almost translucent in the setting rays of sun. They’re the most beautiful person Jongdae has ever seen and he can only see their outline eclipsing the sun. Neither of them move, Jongdae somewhat terrified but still entranced. The man tilts his head and Jongdae sees gold. Around his hair the sun shines into almost a halo shape. Jongdae thinks he’ll never get over this. His breath is gone and so is any hope of finding someone more stunning and he can’t even see their face. 

He jerks up, breathing heavily, clutching his chest. The sun has long set and the temperature is definitely close to freezing. Jongdae glances to the spot where the golden man stood.  _ So it was a dream… _

Jongdae’s stomach growls, tearing his focus away from staring too long at the spot and he stands, pulling on his tank top, wincing at the soreness that takes over his whole body. He just knows he’s beyond sunburnt. He berates himself for falling asleep while gripping the blanket and trudging his way back to his house. At least he had half a mind to bring a blanket so he can drape it around his shoulders, protecting himself from the chilly harsh winds flying off the ocean. 

He’s shivering by the time he steps through the doors and is thankfully greeted by a wam house. The fireplace crackles away - the only source of light in the darkness of the old place. Jongdae hears sounds in the kitchen and assumes it’s Chanyeol cooking dinner. Before doing anything else, he wants to take a bath and change out of his clothes. There’s sand in places sand definitely should not be. Jongdae winces as he pads up the stairs, only now really noticing how much sand had gotten inside of his shorts. 

This time, he doesn’t linger in the tub, washing quickly and ridding himself of the terrible evil that is sand. In the back of his mind, Anakin’s sand speech plays and he chuckles to himself before toweling off. Jongdae decides his feet are cold enough to warrant fuzzy socks inside the house and he tugs them on along with a thicker pair of sweatpants and a very loose fitting thin shirt to let his shoulders and chest breathe. He’s redder than the lobsters his grandparents used to buy from the town market. Every little brush of something against his skin leaves him hissing through clenched teeth. 

The stairs creak more than normal as Jongdae descends into the kitchen and after a particularly loud one, he hears Chanyeol stop. This causes Jongdae to stop. He narrows his eyes but continues on nonetheless. 

Jongdae is greeted by not just one person in his kitchen but two. A man stands next to Chanyeol with wide eyes staring directly at Jongdae. Oddly, a rush of deja vu hits Jongdae and he inspects the guy closer. It’s like he’s seen the guy before but when Chanyeol turns around from the stovetop and smiles the weird moment is broken. 

Chanyeol points to the guy with his stirring spoon, “This is Baekhyun. He’s a local. I forgot to mention we’re friends. He saw me at the grocery store today and I invited him back for dinner without thinking…” he stares at Jongdae apologetically, “Sorry.” Jongdae waves his hand, brushing the matter off. Maybe they could do good with some company. 

Baekhyun remains quiet, opting to smile at Jongdae but it looks off, like  _ he’s  _ the nervous one.  _ Neither of them are talkers. Lovely.  _

“So Baekhyun, what do you do?” Jongdae asks and begins setting up the dining nook for three. He realizes Chanyeol and him have slipped into a habit of Chanyeol cooking and Jongdae setting the table and a tiny smile etches it’s way onto his face. 

When Jongdae receives no answer, he looks up from placing a glass to see Baekhyun staring at his socks. Baekhyun jerks his head up, cheeks rosy at having been caught staring. Jongdae laughs softly, “You like them? They were a gift from my best friend back in Seoul.” 

Baekhyun seems to finally find his voice and cracks a boxy smile of his own. “Yeah, corgis are my favorite dog. I used to have one,” he trails off, eyes growing distant for a short moment before he perks up again and meets Jongdae’s eyes with his own sparkling ones, “My mom always used to tell me that Mongryong was my long lost brother.” 

He looks Baekhyun over, takes in his appearance. The other man definitely is a local, a beach boy. He’s tanned, face dotted with light freckles and a few more apparent moles. His hair is the biggest giveaway. Jongdae can tell he swims in the sea often. Stiff from the salt water and a sandy blonde color from the constant sunshine. He’s handsome, Jongdae will admit, especially with the way his eyes shine. “I can see it. Your mom was definitely onto something,” Jongdae jokes just to see Baekhyun’s face redden further. 

It’s then that Jongdae remembers the clothes and sheets he threw in the laundry. His face blanches, “Excuse me for a moment. I forgot about the laundry, I hope they won’t have to be washed again,” Jongdae explains and ducks out of the kitchen. 

The basement is just as spider infested as this morning and Jongdae makes a mental note to send Chanyeol down here sometime soon to clear them all out. When Jongdae opens up the metal lid of the washer, the color in his face drains. His whites.  _ His whites.  _ He pulls out a shirt, previously white, and stares at it. Pink. Bright. Pink. Jongdae curses whatever god will listen as he pulls out the rest of his now cotton candy colored clothes and sheets and tosses them in the washer until he gets to the culprit. A single red sock. He doesn’t even own any red socks.  _ What the hell? _

It’s too late now to do anything besides deal with it. He’s not afraid to wear pink. He’s fine. Maybe the brighter colors will lighten his mood. The dark house could use some flair. Jongdae throws the darks into the washer and gets them going. With one last sorrowful look towards the dryer, he heads back upstairs, eager to fill his stomach and sleep. 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun are deep in conversation, whispering in Japanese and Jongdae can’t understand a thing, both talking too quickly for him to catch the few words he knows. They break apart when he steps into the kitchen and makes himself visible. “What’s for dinner by the way? It smells great,” Jongdae asks and begins filling the glasses on the table with water.

“Sundubu-jjigae,” Chanyeol answers while not looking up from his stirring. Baekhyun tries to say something to him but Chanyeol pinches his ear, causing him to yelp and shy away. “Go bother Jongdae.”

“My laundry is pink,” Jongdae blurts, not really knowing what to talk about. He hands Baekhyun a glass of water as he passes on his way to sit down at the table. 

His statement is enough of a shock to turn Chanyeol away from his cooking and he looks at Jongdae like he’s trying to hold in laughter. “Did you not separate colors from whites?”

“That’s the thing, I  _ always  _ do. I did this once before some years ago and since then, I’ve always double checked. I ruined half of my work shirts that way so I’m usually extra careful,” Jongdae whines and Baekhyun chuckles as he sits down across from him at the table. There’s a glint in his eye and Jongdae stares for longer than he intended. 

“That’s odd,” Baekhyun interjects. “Wonder how that could’ve happened. Maybe you’re not as careful as you thought.” He laughs at his own words and Jongdae resists the urge to pinch his ear like Chanyeol earlier. 

Jongdae huffs and crosses his arms, “So it’s gang up on Jongdae day? I just met you and already you’re cracking jokes huh?” 

“You’re so easy to pick on,” Chanyeol tells him, placing the finished jjigae down on a pot warmer on the table. “Your ears get all red when you’re embarrassed,” he points out and Jongdae’s ears promptly redden. He covers them with his hands and mumbles under his breath which just causes the other two to laugh at him further. 

“It’s cute, leave him alone,” Baekhyun reprimands Chanyeol, this time he’s the one to pinch Chanyeol. “Plus, your ears do the same and they stick out further,” Baekhyun points out. Chanyeol slaps his shoulder. 

“You’re just being mean in front of Jongdae,” says Chanyeol with a pout and Jongdae thinks he looks like a kicked puppy. 

Baekhyun scoffs, “Please, I’m mean to you in front of everyone.” He places a hand over his heart, “That’s my job.” 

“You’re both gonna end up eating cold tofu if you keep bothering each other,” Jongdae interrupts and jabs his spoon towards them. The pair stick their tongues out at him in unison and Jongdae smiles warmly. He needed this. He hadn’t realized how lonely he’d felt even with Chanyeol here. Even in Seoul, when he had Minseok and Yixing there was still something missing. Something genuine. 

The three of them dig in without preempt, all silent while eating. Jongdae wonders how Chanyeol is such an amazing cook. Everything he’s made so far has been the absolute best food he’s ever eaten, only bested by his grandmothers. 

“How did you get so good at this Chanyeol?” Jongdae asks once they’re all sated and reclining in their chairs. 

“Lots of practice,” he answers and stands up, cleaning the mess and bringing it all over to the sink. “I’ll clean up,” Chanyeol says. He turns to look at Baekhyun, “Why don’t you help Jongdae grab some more firewood from outside. There should be some out back behind the house in a pile.”

For a moment Jongdae considers joking with Chanyeol and asking him who really owns the house but he doubts they’re close enough for that, plus he’s probably used to it, having been with his grandparents for so long. 

Baekhyun nods at Chanyeol before getting up and leading the way. Jongdae follows behind him silently. He wants to make conversation but for the first time he’s at a loss for words. He’s never been one to not know how to talk to someone but something about Baekhyun is more difficult. 

They pass through the garden and head a little further, close to the treeline and Jongdae can barely see in front of him it’s so dark. “How can you even tell where we’re going?” Jongdae questions and he hears Baekhyun’s chuckle. “Good vision I guess.”

A hand grasps his wrist and he shudders before realizing it’s just Baekhyun. A shiver runs through his body at the coldness of Baekhyun’s hand. “It’s a good thing we’re getting more wood for the fire, your hands are freezing,” he tells Baekhyun who just gives a breathy laugh, “Yeah.”

Arms full of the chopped wood, they make their way back to the house and Jongdae has to focus intently on Baekhyun’s back so as not to lose him. Thankfully the night is quiet and he can follow the sound of Baekhyun’s steps. 

Chanyeol is still in the kitchen when they dump the wood in the corner and they stand there for a moment, looking at each other before Jongdae rubs the back of his neck and picks up one of the pieces. “I usually add more before we go to bed because of how cold it gets at night,” he explains, not quite sure why he’s telling Baekhyun. 

“It does get quite cold at night yeah,” Baekhyun trails off, rubbing a hand over his bare forearm and glancing around the room. “Doesn’t help that I have poor circulation.” He lifts up a limp hand, “Explains the cold hands, y’know?”

Jongdae nods. It’s reasonable. “Are you staying the night?” 

“Uh,” Baekhyun says intelligently.

“You can,” Jongdae rushes out. “If you need to, that is. I’m not sure how far you live from here and it’s pretty late.” Why does everything about Baekhyun leave him slightly on the edge of nervousness?

“Oh, no, it’s alright. I live close to Chanyeol anyways. Not too far to walk,” Baekhyun explains. “I actually should get going now. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” Jongdae begins to protest, saying it’s no trouble but Baekhyun interrupts, “Tomorrow, would you like to do something?” 

Jongdae nods. “What were you thinking of?” 

The other man shrugs and gives a gentle smile. “We can figure something out. I’ll come back around lunch time. Sounds good?”

Again, Jongdae nods. Something in the back of his brain still doesn’t want Baekhyun to leave. He pushes it as far back as possible and plasters on a sure smile, “Sounds great yeah. See you tomorrow then.” He waves, albeit a bit awkwardly and Baekhyun just laughs as he heads out, bowing his goodbye and this time Jongdae is the one left blushing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh i know that i just posted the first chapter but like...i wanted to post another one dhjdhd


	3. chapter 3

Jongdae wakes with a start, heart thudding in his chest. For a moment he forgets where he’s at and his breath catches in his throat but something seems to stop him. A warmth filtering it’s way through his veins, relaxing him, almost like a hug. 

He lies there a little longer, regaining his composure and allowing his heart rate to go back to normal before getting up for breakfast. Jongdae glances out the window before heading down. He had heard the soft patter of rain and needed to check. If it was raining too much, he and Baekhyun would have to cancel their plans and he finds himself not wanting that to happen very much at all. 

It’s not raining too hard, just enough to be enjoyable and maybe it’ll slow after breakfast. He rests his hand against the window, feeling the coolness beneath his touch and watching as it fogs up around his hand. Before leaving, he draws a smiley face and mirrors it. He reminds himself.  _ The little things.  _

Baekhyun is there. Still standing next to Chanyeol, teasing him. “I thought  _ I  _ was an early riser. How is it you’re both up earlier than me all the time, or at least, in Chanyeol’s case?” Jongdae asks by way of greeting and Baekhyun turns to smile at him sheepishly. 

“I have other things I do in the morning, so I’m always awake at sunrise,” Baekhyun explains and gives Jongdae a once over, eyes stopping at his hair. “Had a good sleep?” He motions at his own head and Jongdae reaches up, feeling the way his hair is a mess. Jongdae’s face warms and he smooths down his hair, avoiding Baekhyun’s eyes. He notices Baekhyun’s hair isn’t wet from the rain. The other man must have gotten here before the rain began. 

“I slept well yeah,” Jongdae answers honestly and grabs the coffee pot. He fills it up with water and sets it on the other burner that isn’t occupied by Chanyeol. “Grab the coffee grounds for me will you Baekhyun?” He points to the cupboard it’s in and Baekhyun rummages through it until finding it. He passes it over to Jongdae and when their fingers brush, this time, Jongdae is used to the chill of the other man’s hand. 

It takes some time but Jongdae gets the coffee percolating and decides while it’s doing that to set the table. He’s setting down a plate when he asks, “Chanyeol, are you sure you don’t feel like coming with Baekhyun and I today?” 

“Uh,” Chanyeol begins and Jongdae turns to see the other two sharing a look that he can’t decipher. He looks at Jongdae, mouth slightly open like he’s still thinking. “I was actually planning on working more in the garden today. You guys go ahead and have fun. Three is a crowd anyways.” He smirks and winks at the last part and Baekhyun slaps him before Jongdae can. 

“Yeah, yeah, make the bacon and keep your jokes to yourself,” Jongdae chides, walking over to snatch a piece of bacon before Chanyeol can protest. He rips it in half and hands the other piece to Baekhyun who accepts with a gracious smile. 

“How can I cook when the two of you are stealing my food huh? Out of the kitchen until I’m done, new rule. Go play outside boys,” Chanyeol imitates what Jongdae assumes is his grandmother, even going so far as to swat at Jongdae and Baekhyun. It causes the pair to stumble away, bumping into each other as they shuffle out of the kitchen laughing. 

The pair decide to take a seat in the living room on the claw-foot couch, both bringing their legs up to rest their chins on. They stare at the ever continuous fire, though now it’s mostly embers. 

“You really must have gotten here early,” Jongdae says, only then remembering Baekhyun’s dry hair. 

Baekhyun glances at him curiously. “What do you mean?” He tilts his head and frowns at Jongdae. 

“This morning it was raining when I woke up.” Jongdae points to Baekhyun’s hair, “Your hair was completely dry, so I’m guessing you got here super early before it rained.”

“Yeah, remember I have things to do early in the morning so I’m usually always up,” Baekhyun explains slowly, eyes searching Jongdae’s to see if he’ll push the question further but Jongdae doesn’t care that much. If Baekhyun wants to share his private life with him, he will. It’s not his place to pester. 

“Have you decided what you wanna do today?” Maybe if he diverts the attention away from Baekhyun he’ll open up more. Talk. Smile more. Jongdae kind of wants to see that boxy smile of Baekhyun’s again. 

Baekhyun tilts his head further to lie on his knees and he gives Jongdae a thoughtful look, “Mmm,” he hums and looks beyond Jongdae. “You’ve already been to the ocean?” When Jongdae nods he hums again and closes his eyes. “Let’s walk through the woods then. There’s a really neat temple back off this old path. It’s pretty.”

“A temple?” 

Baekhyun nods eagerly, almost child-like. “Yeah, like in Spirited Away, you’ve seen that right. Except there’s no town past the temple and it’s a temple, not an abandoned train station.” 

“So not at all like Spirited Away?” Jongdae questions and accepts the incoming slap from Baekhyun. 

“You _know_ what I mean, all mystical and spooky,” Baekhyun explains, voice lilting with a whine and Jongdae’s brain supplies,  _ ‘cute’.  _

“Come in here and eat then get out, I’ve got stuff to do today and I don’t need you two hanging around the house getting into things,” Chanyeol interrupts and motions for them to come back into the kitchen. Baekhyun shoots Jongdae a secretive look and winks conspiratorially before they head in to eat. 

Jongdae thinks Chanyeol has an obsession with American breakfast foods but he also finds that he doesn’t mind it. The guy makes amazing pancakes. 

Halfway through chewing his last pancake, Chanyeol points his fork at Jongdae. “I’ll pack some snacks for you guys before you go.” Jongdae swallows and begins to protest because Chanyeol despite acting silly sometimes, genuinely cares and always seems to want to do things  _ for  _ Jongdae. “And  _ don’t  _ worry about it. It gives me something to do,” Chanyeol takes a bite of his own pancake, syrup catching on his bottom lip. “I took constant care of your grandparents for the past few years remember?”

Jongdae nods dutifully and finishes eating. “Baek, let me show you upstairs. I can give you a proper tour of the house and then I can change before we’re on our way. But first,” he stares at Chanyeol, daring him to argue, “We’re gonna help Chanyeol do the dishes because contrary to popular belief we are both adults with hands that work and can wash some plates.”

This time it’s Baekhyun who intervenes when Chanyeol tries to argue. “If you try to argue with Jongdae one more time I’m going to hide your favorite coffee and you’ll never find it again,” he threatens and jabs Chanyeol’s side. Chanyeol holds his hands up, accepting defeat but smiles nonetheless. 

The dishes don’t take long with the pair of them washing and drying efficiently and then they’re rushed out yet again by Chanyeol. For a moment, it’s like Jongdae’s grandmother is there, shooing him and his grandfather out when they try to steal a cookie from the cooling rack. He laughs quietly to himself before pulling Baekhyun up the stairs, cold wrist loose in his grip. 

Jongdae clears a few things off the floor hastily, slightly embarrassed to look so messy in front of Baekhyun. “Ignore the chaos. I don’t even have an excuse for it besides laziness,” he mumbles. “You can sit on the bed while I change, I promise it’s clean.”

Baekhyun glances at the bed and a look passes over his eyes before he sits down, testing out the firm mattress. 

“That bed hasn’t seen action in years, nothing to be afraid of,” Jongdae says and wants to throttle himself when Baekhyun grows red in the face. “I...uh, I’m going to change now.”

He nearly throws himself into the bathroom, changing quickly and staring at his  _ own  _ face in the mirror. The tips of his ears seem to remain in a constant state of crimson around Baekhyun. It’s almost like his brain is working against him to turn him into a complete fool. 

Surprisingly, since his first night at the house, he doesn’t feel the hairs on his neck rise. Doesn’t feel a chill brush over his body. Doesn’t feel the prying eyes of something or...someone. For a moment he almost feels upset, having gotten used to the odd sensation but it passes when he hears Baekhyun sneeze outside of his door. 

Jongdae looks Baekhyun over when he steps back into the bedroom and frowns. “You’re going to go hiking in shorts like that?”

The other male gives himself a once over, holding his arms out by his sides and peers around his backside to look at his shorts. Baekhyun faces Jongdae then with a tilted head, “What, you don’t trust me? I grew up here.”

He’s right, of course. But Jongdae can’t help the concern that seeps into his veins. He’s always been a worrier. “I have some sweatpants…” he mumbles in a last ditch attempt to ensure the safety of Baekhyun’s legs. 

“I’ll be fine,” Baekhyun stands and squeezes Jongdae’s bicep. “If you’re worried about me being cold, don't. I’m used to the cold alright?” His thumb strokes lightly across Jongdae’s arm and he smiles before removing his hand. “Plus, you should be worried for yourself. It’s a long trek to the temple.”

Jongdae scoffs, “I’m plenty in shape.”

Baekhyun’s laugh grates on his ears and he tries to pull his hair down, covering his bright red ear tips. “That’s not what your biceps tell me,” Baekhyun argues and this time it’s Jongdae shooing the both of them out of the room with spluttered insults. 

Chanyeol hands them each a little lunch box, one with cats decorating it and the other with dogs. Jongdae wonders where he got them but decides not to ask because he might go there himself and buy more which is something he definitely doesn’t need to do. 

“Thanks,” Jongdae grins and shoves the box in the backpack he dragged out from the rest of his things. “Don’t tire yourself too much in the garden. I’ll cook dinner as a treat.” When Chanyeol tries to argue Jongdae presses a finger to his chest. “No arguing. I should cook in my own house anyways,” Jongdae says, leaving no room for discussion. Chanyeol rolls his eyes fondly and removes Jongdae’s finger. 

“You two have fun then,” Chanyeol says and leaves them. 

“No! Cooking!” Jongdae reminds when they exit out the back of the house. He hears Chanyeol’s answering laugh. 

Baekhyun chuckles next to him while they step through the tall grass. Jongdae glances at him quizzically, “What?”

He waves a hand, laugh tapering off. “Chanyeol listening to someone for once,” Baekhyun explains and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s funny. He never listens to me but you get here and all it takes is a couple weeks and he’s wrapped around your finger.”

This time it’s Jongdae who laughs, “I doubt that’s what it is.” He puffs his chest out, “I’m just very intimidating.” Baekhyun actually cracks up, nearly doubles over like the fact that Jongdae being tough is just otherworldly. Jongdae smacks his shoulder a couple times. “Hey, I’m scary when I want to be.” He doesn’t pout at Baekhyun’s actions. Definitely not. 

“Okay tough guy, are you willing to let another guy lead the way or is that not manly enough for you?” Baekhyun questions, turning around so he’s walking backwards through the grass and staring at Jongdae. He’s smirking and Jongdae kind of wishes he’d trip but Baekhyun sadly seems too surefooted for that to happen. 

He rolls his eyes at Baekhyun’s antics and shoves his shoulder playfully. “Alright other ‘manly man’, lead the way.” 

For a while they walk in comfortable silence, both content to focus on nature around them. The forest around them becomes thicker. The trees overhead become denser, closer together and blotting out the sun. The breeze from the ocean surrounds them, blowing Baekhyun’s hair back and Jongdae chuckles to himself when a piece sticks up almost like a beansprout. 

They decide to take a break after an hour or so when Jongdae needs some water and to get some rocks out of his shoes. Baekhyun helps grab the bottle out of the backpack on Jongdae’s back and steals a sip, jumping out of the way when Jongdae reaches for it. Eventually they settle on a stump and Jongdae busies himself with removing his shoes and shaking them out. 

“So…” Baekhyun begins and Jongdae has to hold back his laughter at how terribly awkward the other man sounds. 

“So…” he mirrors and Baekhyun pinches his side causing him to nearly fall off the tree stump. 

Baekhyun huffs and pulls his legs up to sit cross legged, knee bumping into Jongdae’s thigh. “What do you do? You know about Chanyeol and you know about me, do we get to know about you?”

“I actually don’t know a lot about you Baekhyun, except your name and the fact that you have a dog, but I realized if you wanted to tell me about yourself, you would’ve,” Jongdae counters and doesn’t miss the almost panicked look in Baekhyun’s eyes at first. “But it’s fine, I’ll share with you. I’m not a secretive person.”

Baekhyun blanches, mouth falling open and Jongdae laughs. “It’s fine really, I’m not mad. No need to be embarrassed, I’m just playing around. I’m a writer, except I’m special because I don’t write.” 

“I don’t…” Baekhyun stares at him, head tilted. He gestures with his hands for Jongdae to continue. 

“Of course I do  _ write, _ ” Jongdae tries to find his words. “I had a couple hit books but since last year I’ve done absolutely nothing. Sometimes it feels like I can’t form the simplest of sentences. I’ll write something and the next day when I read it back over, I want it all gone.”

Baekhyun takes this all in, nodding along. “Did something happen that caused this?”

He shakes his head, “No. I don’t think so. I’m just not sure I was meant to be a writer. Maybe I was only meant for a few months of fame and that’s it.” 

“You don’t seem like that kind of person,” Baekhyun mumbles. 

“Do you know me well enough to make that assumption?” 

Baekhyun blanches and Jongdae teases him once again. “You’re so easy to mess with, I’m sorry.” He squeezes Baekhyun’s shoulder and makes a grab for the water bottle again. Except Baekhyun is quicker and probably a little more vengeful considering he’s been teased twice now and he jumps up quickly. 

He wiggles the water bottle in the air, “If you want it, you’ll have to come get it.” Baekhyun’s eyes shine and Jongdae doesn’t even get a chance to argue before Baekhyun sprints off. Jongdae stands for a moment, feeling played and then tightens his backpack straps before running after the other man. He supposes this is good, they’re making better time as they run through the forest and laugh. 

It’s all going well until Baekhyun runs through a spiderweb and while attempting to remove it from his face, trip over his own feet and slams - very ungracefully - into the unforgiving ground. 

Jongdae comes to a halt beside him and can barely contain his laughter, bending over and clutching at his stomach while Baekhyun groans on the ground. Thankfully, he’s not too injured that they can’t walk. His pride is probably bruised beyond repair if the way he’s silent says anything. 

Baekhyun’s pout can be heard it’s so prevalent and Jongdae almost wants to say something but he thinks he’ll still end up laughing. He can’t get Baekhyun’s surprised and slightly disgusted face out of his mind. 

Now they continue to walk in silence until Baekhyun halts Jongdae with an arm. “We’re almost there,” he warns. “It’s a little more creepy than I let on, since no one ever goes here. You’re okay with scary stuff right?”

“It takes a lot to scare me,” Jongdae explains, thinking back to all the strange feelings he’s gotten since moving. “What,” he glances to Baekhyun who looks a little worse for wear. There’s a leaf in his hair and Jongdae reaches out, plucking it out and smoothing down Baekhyun’s sandy locks. “Don’t tell me you’re a scaredy-cat?”

“So what if I am,” Baekhyun argues, crossing his arms and giving Jongdae a daring look. 

Jongdae chuckles, “Nothing.” He holds his hands up in surrender, “Just wondering why you suggested a creepy place if you’re afraid of these things.” He pauses and raises an eyebrow at Baekhyun, “Unless you wanted someone to hold on to.” Jongdae adds a wink just to do it and receives a slap from Baekhyun on the arm. 

“I only suggested it because you seem like the kind of person who likes scary things. I mean hell, who moves into a house that could be featured on Ghost Adventures?”

“It’s not a haunted house!” Jongdae crosses his arms this time. “It’s an old house with a draft. Old people lived in it along with Chanyeol, of course it’s gonna seem creepy.” Maybe he’s a little defensive over the house.  _ Maybe.  _

Baekhyun heaves a sigh and lets his shoulders drop. “Fine,” he steps forward and presses a cold finger onto Jongdae’s chest, “But when you have nightmares about the terrifying ghost of this deity, don’t come crying to me.”

“You say that like it’s from personal experience,” Jongdae notes and receives a narrow eyed look from Baekhyun but no answer. He supposes the silence is answer enough. “It’ll be fine. We’re just going to look around the little temple right? We’re not gonna steal anything, anger anyone or anything.”

“It’s a temple dedicated to Hotei,” Baekhyun tells him while they step into the clearing and settle their eyes on the decaying temple. The wood is nearly rotted in all places. Where a roof should be, lies moss and a single stone pillar, having fallen across probably during a storm. Despite the utter disarray, it’s beautiful in a way. Everything inside, preserved like a time capsule. Baekhyun’s hand comes up to rest on Jongdae’s forearm as they step inside, careful to avoid the sunken in floors. 

Against the furthest wall in the center, sits a solid stone statue. Hotei - one of the seven lucky gods - sits in all his laughing glory. Jongdae has seen tiny statues like this before. There used to be all around the inside of his house until his grandparents sold them. Most call him the ‘laughing buddha’. He’s supposed to bring happiness - a benevolent God. Jongdae thinks it’s fitting that the inside of the temple should still be standing around the smiling figure. 

“How is this scary?” Jongdae questions and turns to face Baekhyun who looks...tense. He places a hand over Baekhyun’s own on his arm. “Baek, you good?”

It seems to break Baekhyun out of his trance and he snaps his head towards Jongdae, laughing under his breath. “Yeah, sorry, I was thinking about things.” Baekhyun glances around the temple and then towards the statue and heads towards it. Jongdae watches as the other man kneels before the statue and whispers something too quiet to hear. He wonders if he should follow in Baekhyun’s place but the other stands up just as quickly and faces him with a little smile. “We should leave an offering.”

“I didn’t bring anything,” Jongdae frowns. 

“Offer him a happy memory then.” Baekhyun waves him over, “He is the God of Happiness. I’m sure he’d like to hear something that would please him, if you have nothing else to give. He is considered a benevolent God after all. I’m sure he won’t hold it against you.” Baekhyun smirks and Jongdae just rolls his eyes before taking up the same position as Baekhyun previously. 

He feels Baekhyun’s shoulder brush his when he closes his eyes and thinks about how Baekhyun hadn’t brought an offering either. He wants to know what memories lie in Baekhyun’s mind. Wants to know a lot about the other. 

Jongdae thinks about a recent memory. One with Yixing. He’s still not sure what they are. After coming to the island, the feelings and confusion about the state of their relationship - if it was even that - seem insignificant. But… still, he was happy with Yixing. 

_ “You’re such a dork,” Yixing mumbled and tugged Jongdae back towards him. He pressed his front to Jongdae’s back and kissed the side of his neck. “But you’re my dork. Getting so angry over your own characters.”  _

_ Jongdae huffed but smiled nonetheless when he felt Yixing’s lips continue their journey from his neck, down to his shoulder and then even an even brighter smile when Yixing rested his chin in that same spot. Their fingers twined together and Jongdae sighed. “What would I do without you?” He felt Yixing’s head bump into his softly. “Suffer probably,” came the other man’s answer.  _

_ It was Jongdae’s turn to bump heads and he chuckled softly. “I wish you weren’t gone all the time.” He had whispered, voice tiny. Quiet.  _

_ Yixing had squeezed him tighter then. Pulled him closer. “Soon,” he had whispered. “Soon, I’ll be home all the time.” He kissed Jongdae’s cheek and despite the angle, it had been warm. Full of something. Jongdae turned his head, faced Yixing and poured everything he felt for the other man into that kiss. It wasn’t hard to turn that one into two. Two into three. Three into however many. They kissed and kissed and then more. And in the morning, Yixing was still there. He hadn’t left. He was happy.  _

Baekhyun’s hand wrapping around his own breaks him out of the memory. The other man smiles at him, edges of his mouth taut like he’s forcing it. Jongdae begins to ask what’s the matter but Baekhyun stands, brushes off the dirt from his knees. 

“It’s getting dark out, we should head back,” Baekhyun announces and holds a chilly hand out which Jongdae accepts, still a little wary of the other’s odd behavior. “Chanyeol is probably running up and down the walls with concern,” he comments offhandedly and for a moment his smile becomes a little more genuine - the corner of his lip lifting up and Jongdae finds it easier to laugh along. 

“He’s a Mother Hen type then?” Jongdae questions while following Baekhyun out of the collapsing temple. 

Baekhyun turns his head back just a bit, “What, you mean you haven’t noticed yet?”

Jongdae shrugs. Knocks a fly out of his face. “I guess I have, he’s pretty...involved.”

A snort from the other man. “Involved,” he laughs and bumps Jongdae’s shoulder with his. “Ever since I’ve known him, he’s always been ‘the Mother’ type. He’s just got a big heart and can’t bear to see anyone suffering even in the slightest bit.” Baekhyun trails off and Jongdae takes the time to step a little quicker so they’re walking side by side. 

The sun sets quickly and Jongdae can barely see but it doesn’t stop him from taking in Baekhyun’s profile. In the dim light, Baekhyun’s eyes look darker, more tired. His skin is washed out and tired but somehow he still looks...attractive. Of course, Jongdae noticed before.  _ He wasn’t blind.  _ But something about the other man is unsettling in a way Jongdae can’t decide if it’s good or bad yet. 

They’ve nearly made it back to the house and by now the sun has completely set. The only sounds being the cicadas and the ground crunching beneath their feet. “How long have you and Chanyeol been friends for?” Jongdae interrupts the quiet. 

Baekhyun looks surprised at the question. Like no one has ever asked him something like that before. He blinks once, twice that Jongdae can see from the corner of his eyes but he remains staring at the ground. “Since I was a kid.”

“Long time then,” Jongdae comments and sees the nod of Baekhyun’s head in acknowledgement. “I know I already asked but what do you do when you’re not at my house?”

Baekhyun snorts at this. “I thought you said you wouldn’t press me for answers?” He turns and gives Jongdae an amused raised eyebrow. Jongdae’s face reddens and he opens his mouth to reply but Baekhyun places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “God, you’re so easy to tease, it’s ridiculous.” The house is in sight when they come over a hill and Baekhyun continues. “I run errands for some of the other elderly people who live close to my mother when they can’t go to town. I sell fish. I teach people how to surf. Anything you can name, I can probably do it. That’s what I do.” 

“Ah, Jack of All Trades, Master of None,” Jongdae mumbles and receives a pinch from Baekhyun. “Hey, you asked. I’m just telling you.” 

“More like showing off.” He receives another pinch from Baekhyun, only this time harder which causes him to pinch back and that’s how Chanyeol finds them. Stumbling into the house, trying and failing to act like the adults they are. 

“I take it you guys had fun then?” Chanyeol questions from the couch. He’s got the old television turned on to some game show and is lying spread eagle on the couch. Jongdae is glad the other man took his advice of getting some rest so seriously. 

Baekhyun is the first to jump away, looking only slightly embarrassed. Probably from being caught looking so childish more than anything. He toes off his shoes and sheepishly runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to flatten it but it’s completely messed up from too much rough housing. He announces he’s going to take a shower before either he or Jongdae can answer Chanyeol, and practically runs upstairs to Jongdae’s bathroom. 

At that, Jongdae turns to Chanyeol and gives him a questioning look. The other man simply shrugs and scoots into a sitting position. “Join me on the couch and we can beat these people at Jeopardy while the idiot showers.”

The sound of the water being used runs through the whole house. The pipes creaking and then settling with a little whistle while the water goes. It’s eerie in a way and Jongdae still isn’t used to it. However, it doesn’t get in the way of Chanyeol and Jongdae arguing with the people on the television. 

Baekhyun pads into the living room looking like a lost child. He’s wearing borrowed clothes from Jongdae which are very much too big considering that Jongdae only wears over-sized nowadays. If Jongdae were Chanyeol he’d probably call Baekhyun adorable. But they’re not that close yet. And he’s also not Chanyeol. 

“Fun shower?” Chanyeol asks and removes the arm from behind Jongdae’s shoulders. 

Baekhyun nods and walks over to the armchair. He plops down in it, curls into a ball and nods towards the TV. “M’ sleepy,” he mumbles. “Hungry.”

“Do you always become a petulant child after showering?” Jongdae asks and Baekhyun flips him off. Jongdae and Chanyeol both laugh before Jongdae picks himself up off the couch. 

“Since you asked so nicely,” he stares pointedly at Baekhyun, who seems  _ very  _ focused on the TV, “I’ll cook. But I’m going to put cucumbers in it.”

At this Baekhyun whines, “That’s evil.” He stares over his shoulder at Jongdae with an angry pout. “And to think I killed spiders for you.”

Jongdae ignores any of Baekhyun’s further protests as he heads into the kitchen and begins taking out all the materials he’ll need. He sees Chanyeol’s head poke around the corner and he levels the other man with a threatening look until he leaves. “Chanyeol, I told you. You’re taking the day off today,” Jongdae warms, voice raising so Chanyeol can hear clearly from the living room even over the sounds of Jeopardy and Baekhyun’s arguing with the host. 

He goes about preparing a stir fry and rice because they’re running low on different foods and the only things they really have are chicken, broccoli and baby corn. Jongdae thinks the baby corn has been in the fridge since around the same time as dinosaurs walked the Earth. 

Deciding that the other two can probably not make a mess, Jongdae brings the food out in bowls to the living room. He notices Chanyeol and Baekhyun have switched spots and he eyes both of them suspiciously but they seem to be  _ very focused  _ on the television for probably the fifth time tonight. 

“Am I supposed to take the floor?” He questions while glancing between Baekhyun’s legs spread along the length of the couch and his face and a very inconspicuous Chanyeol curled up in the arm chair. 

Baekhyun stares up at him, tiny smirk on his face. There's a bit of sauce at the corner of his lips. "We can share," he announces and moves his legs just barely an inch. Jongdae narrows his eyes further and clutches his bowl.

The other man laughs and relents. "Fine, fine, you really pulled my leg here."

"You're lucky I didn't pull more," Jongdae comments and even Chanyeol snorts at that.

For a while, the three sit in silence, the only sounds being the slurping of their food and Jeopardy switching into Family Feud. They try to watch it in silence and not argue too much with the families but Baekhyun is the one to break the silence, cursing at a family for not knowing common thoughts men have about other men. This brings Chanyeol out of his silence as well because then he and Baekhyun begin bickering on their own and Jongdae is content to watch them. He doesn't feel left out though. It's entertaining in a way that he didn't have back home. There was no goal. No motive behind their words. Just having fun. Being idiots.

When he was with Yixing it had always felt like there was something to be done when they started talking. Some ending goal they needed to reach. Their arguments always ending in fucking and even their regular conversations ending the same way.

With Minseok - as great a friend as he was - they never seemed to be on the same wavelength. Minseok always being the more put together one of the two. Jongdae always felt...left out. Minseok would go on these long rants about work and life and working out and his girlfriend and everything else in the world Jongdae couldn't relate to. But with Chanyeol and Baekhyun...somehow they fit. They always knew.

The sound of a bowl clattering to wooden floors alerts Jongdae to the fact that he literally zoned out to the point of dropping his bowl. The offending dish stares back at him, chipped now at the edge and a few bits of rice around it. He frowns and picks it up.

"Hey, you okay?" Baekhyun nudges him with his socked foot which, funnily enough, isn't as cold as his hands. His face is twisted into one of concern, bottom lip jutted out just slightly.

Jongdae nods at him, shaking his head a little bit and putting on his best smile. "Yeah," he reassures and hopes to sound as convincing as possible."Yeah, I'm fine. Was just thinking about back home."

Baekhyun cocks his head to the side and Jongdae looks past him for a moment. Chanyeol is still engrossed in the show and Jongdae huffs. "Later, alright?" He tells the other man and Baekhyun nods. Jongdae realizes his words sound like an invite and maybe they are. Keeping Baekhyun over. He's not sure why the thought warms the tips of his ears.

Standing, he grips his bowl tighter again and reaches out to take Baekhyun's who passes it over with a thankful smile. He even has the nerve to pat the back of Jongdae's thighs while laughing when he walks by to grab Chanyeol's.

"Getting awfully brave for someone staying in another person's house for the night," Jongdae narrows his eyebrows at Baekhyun who playfully reaches out and pretends to pat the other one.

He cleans up the food and is beginning to wash the dishes when he feels a chill to his neck. The same one from the bathroom. Jongdae freezes, hands elbow deep in soapy water and he lets out an uneven breath. When he turns around the kitchen is empty.  _ Of course  _ it is.  _ Why would anything be there? _

Except that chill doesn't leave. He's halfway through the dishes when it travels down the length of his entire body. His arms, legs, everything breaking out in goosebumps. It's unnerving especially considering what happened at the temple. Just the thought of that is enough to keep the goosebumps going for the rest of the night. Jongdae was never one to believe in the supernatural or anything similar happening but he truly has no explanation for the feeling he got while 'giving' a memory to the Buddha statue. It felt more like the memory had been taken. Pulled from somewhere deep inside Jongdae that even he hadn't remembered existed. Perhaps that was the idea. Unearthing memories for some hidden meaning. Perhaps there was something important about that specific memory of Yixing. Of how things were.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Baekhyun's voice comes from beside him and Jongdae startles, jerking his arms out of the soapy water and nearly dropping the plate in his hands.

"What the hell Baekhyun, why would you sneak up on me like that?" He questions, clutching a wet hand to his heart.

Baekhyun's eyebrows pinch in the middle when they meet and his head tilts like a puppy's. "I called your name several times," he licks his lips and his face morphs into a slight unsure look. "I guess you didn't hear me."

Jongdae glances between Baekhyun's eyes, trying to detect a lie but the other man looks sincere and Jongdae knows he tends to go blind to the world around him when he gets in his head. It had been his problem while writing and it seems it's still his problem now except he didn't bring his laptop and he can't exactly lock himself up in his room and clatter away.

"Wanna help me finish the dishes since you're here?"

"Yeah, I actually was going to suggest it. I told Chanyeol to just turn in early. I wanted to uh," Baekhyun trails off, wringing his hands a little, "Ask about earlier. I know it's none of my business but we're kind of friends now and I-

Jongdae cuts him off with a wave of his hand. "It's alright. We're friends, you're right." He hands Baekhyun the plate. "I wash, you dry?"

The other man nods and a small but bright smile spreads across his face. "So...What were you thinking about earlier?"

"Getting right into it then huh?" Jongdae jokes and Baekhyun flicks some soap suds at him. "I don't know." His brows furrow while he tries to think of how to explain things. "My friends back home are just very...different from you and Chanyeol."

"How so?" Baekhyun prompts.

"Minseok he's my," Jongdae waves a plate in the air. "Best friend if you want to call him that. He's a good guy, don't get me wrong. He's done a lot for me and I probably wouldn't be here if not for him reminding me that I'm a human being with human needs while I'm writing. But," he hands the now washed plate to Baekhyun. "At times he can seem so much more experienced in life than me. More mature. Like he actually has his life together. I'm the complete opposite of that. He likes to talk about settling down with his girlfriend. Going to the gym, keeping a clean house and having a proper nine to five job."

"And that's so bad because?"

"Because it's not bad at all. He's basically perfect." Jongdae frowns and places his hands on the counter, squeezing the edges a little. "No offense to you or Chanyeol because I mean this in the best way but you guys are not perfect. You're human. You guys don't make me feel...out of the loop I suppose." He lets go of the counter, pushing off of it slightly and when he looks over to Baekhyun the other man is giving him an understanding look.

"I knew a lot of people like that when I went to University," Baekhyun tells him. His eyes look far off, like he too is remembering something that happened long ago. "Being from here where the education isn't as advanced as other places in Japan and trying to compete with all the other kids," he frowns down at his hands. "It wasn't fun for a long time. I was always so homesick and no one understood how I felt. They were like your friend, it seemed like they already had the world figured out."

Jongdae looks at Baekhyun, trying to understand just how many secrets this guy has. This is the most information he willingly gave up and it only leaves Jongdae wanting to know more.

"What did you study in University?"

"Education," Baekhyun is now smiling at his hands as if remembering something fond. "I've always loved children and I wanted to teach the younger ones here. Help them learn a few things that education doesn't teach them."

Jongdae doesn't want to continue to push the other man but everything Baekhyun says leaves him wanting more and more. "Well, it's never too late." He decides on something safe. A way that lets Baekhyun leave the conversation there if he wants or a chance to continue. But it seems that line of conversation is over when Baekhyun just glances back up with a completely fake smile and a mumbled, "Yeah.". Jongdae knows it's fake because he's worn the same one before. The kind you give someone when you're hiding an ache in your heart.

They finish the rest of the dishes in silence. When handing Baekhyun a plate, their fingers brush again and despite Jongdae knowing how cold Baekhyun's hands are, it's still shocking to the point where he nearly drops the plate.

Baekhyun seems to notice and laughs, threatening with his hands to chase after Jongdae but it ends when he grabs a handful of soap suds to defend himself with.

When they part ways in the hallway, Baekhyun turns, clinging onto his door frame, unreadable look on his face. "Thank you for uh, listening to me rant in the kitchen. I know I don't talk a lot about myself." He looks past Jongdae then, letting out a self deprecating chuckle. "I don't do it to seem mean. Chanyeol didn't even know I had a dog for years."

Jongdae returns a sincere smile.  _ I would listen to you more than you think.  _ "Any time," he tells Baekhyun. "I've been told I have one of those faces you just want to spill everything to."

Baekhyun snorts at this. Rolls his eyes and despite only knowing Baekhyun for a short time, this is the Baekhyun he's used to. The one that deflects. "I think they were being generous about the kind of face you have."

"Alright Byun, see if I cook you anymore food," Jongdae counters, crossing his arms with a petulant look.

"Kidding!" Baekhyun nearly shouts. They both stand there for a beat too long and then Baekhyun sucks in a breath as Jongdae bows slightly and turns to leave. It stops him and Baekhyun blurts, "Lets go on a walk to the beach tomorrow."

"The beach it is," Jongdae agrees and this time Baekhyun doesn't protest when Jongdae turns and heads back to his room.

It doesn't take long for Jongdae to fall asleep, having been quite worn out from their little hike into the woods.

He wakes with a start, his entire body feeling chilled to the bone like he'd been shoved headfirst into the icy water of winter. Jongdae looks over to see the analogue clock showing three thirty two in the morning.

The tips of his hands and feet are freezing to the point of near numbness and his mouth tastes like saltwater. It almost felt like what he imagined drowning would feel like. Mouth with salt and body heavier than lead in the ocean. An odd tightness around his throat like hands. But none of this could be real. He was obviously dreaming and it had just been intense. There's been studies of something like this surely.

Except.

That chill. There it was.

This time it came with fear. The other ice cold feeling. Running through his entire body. His veins. His heart. Until it was all he could feel. The razor sharp claws of sheer panic gripping at his being.

He chokes now. Mouth filling up with salt again. Oxygen cut off as the pressure at his throat increases to the point where he can't get even so much as a whimper out. Jongdae pulls at invisible hands around his throat. Begging in his mind that this is all some nightmare.

Tears pool at the corners of his eyes and his blankets fling off the bed. Kicked off by his flailing feet and arching back and then suddenly everything is gone.

Warmth rushes back to his body, taking over so fast he thinks now he might go into shock. Jongdae glances back at his clock and only two minutes have passed.  _ Two minutes?  _ It had felt like hours.

He feels it in his bones. A deep ache. A wrongness there. But he's tired. So. So. Tired. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long update bc im gonna be busy for a couple days so im dropping this which will force me to work on the rest of this fic considering i only have like....uh 4k more words in the next chapter so... yeah. anyways pls tell me your theories and what u think is gonna happen cause i like seeing them <33


	4. chapter 4

_So bright. So loved._

_Unfair. Life is unfair. All I want to do is take. Why can’t I stop thinking about it?_

_What do you know of love? What do you know? What do you know about pain? About loss?_

_When a star falls from the sky and lands in the ocean, does it sink or swim?_

_-_

_I take and take and take. I don’t feel better. But it’s all gone. The light. You will understand right? Why it had to happen. You’ll understand. That’s how you are. It’s okay. I’ll make it better._

_Stars drown._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) enjoy this little update. it’s important <3


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short update again my laptop is broken and i am having to use my phone to write until my new laptop gets here. but happy baekchen day ! i promise the next chapter will have actual baekchen in it fhjd

Things are quiet for a few days. Jongdae spends most of his time either asking Chanyeol to help him fix up things around the house or he spends time with Baekhyun outside. Their latest project being the basement. Jongdae ends up forming a routine of sorts. Waking up in the morning to greet Chanyeol - and almost always Baekhyun as well - in the kitchen for breakfast, eating and joking around about dumb things. Washing the dishes with Baekhyun when he's there. Then spending the day with either of his new friends. Usually Baekhyun busies him with different places he wants to show him or they go for runs. Jongdae thinks he's in the best shape of his life and somehow Baekhyun never gets tired. He feels like they've gone everywhere except Baekhyun's house and the town located to the north end of the island.

Today when Jongdae wakes, he greets just Chanyeol in the kitchen. He asks where Baekhyun is and the other man gives a shrug. "Well, I'm gonna head to town today and get us some more groceries," Jongdae tells him. "Is there anything you want in particular?"

Chanyeol freezes at the mention of town and Jongdae notices the tension in the straight set of his shoulders. "You know how to get to town?" Chanyeol asks not turning away from where he's at by the sink.

"Yeah, I used to live here during the summers. It shouldn't be too hard to get to from here. Not like there's more than one road," Jongdae jokes but the tension doesn't leave Chanyeol's shoulders. He'll have to ask about it later. "Still, did you want anything?"

"No, it's fine. Just get stuff you want to make for dinner. Maybe a few snacks if you're really feeling it."

Jongdae nods at this even though Chanyeol can't see and heads for the door. When he's nearly out, Chanyeol stops him by adding, "Baekhyun really likes  _ Hanami dango,  _ by the way. Just a thought."

"Uh, alright," he answers. Not really sure why Chanyeol is telling him Baekhyun's favorite snack rather than his.

The drive to town isn’t too long, twenty minutes at most. Jongdae passes trees, trees, more trees and the occasional house. All the same scenery from when he made his way to the house on the first day. 

When he gets to town it’s just as he remembered from his childhood except a few more buildings. After living in Seoul for most of his life, it’s more like a blast from the past. Not too different from the period dramas Minseok would force him to watch. 

The market sticks out the most because it’s probably the only modern building on the island. But even calling it modern is a stretch. It’s probably one of the few businesses not family owned and operated. 

He parks in front of it next to the only other car and heads inside. 

It’s been some time since he’s had to read or speak Japanese. It’s evident in the way he stumbles out a rusty greeting to one of the workers while his ears turn a bright crimson. 

Jongdae grabs one of the three carts after thinking about how much food he really should buy. There’s nearly always three of them eating and Chanyeol eats enough to feed a small army. 

He walks slowly through the aisles, throwing things in his cart to make some of his favorite dishes and a few of the snacks that he remembers Baekhyun mentioning. 

A lady bumps into his cart and he apologizes, stuttering out the badly pronounced words and she gives him a confused look before mumbling something and quickly heading the opposite direction. He thinks that later, he’ll ask Chanyeol to teach him a few more words in Japanese so the locals don’t all look at him like he killed their firstborn. 

As Jongdae packs things into his trunk someone taps him on the shoulder and he nearly jumps out of his skin. He turns around to see a middle aged guy dressed in a police uniform and immediately his heart leaps into his throat thinking he’s done something wrong. Except nothing happens, the gentleman smiles at him and asks him if he can understand him. When Jongade shakes his head the man breaks into rusty Korean. 

“You’re new here right?”

Jongdae nods and the man looks him up and down, probably trying to figure everything out and then his eyebrow raises. “The old house out by the beach, with the Kims. You live there now right?”

“Yes, it was my grandparents but since they’ve passed, it’s mine now,” Jongdae answers while shaking his head again. 

“Ah,” the police officer hums and narrows his eyes. “Be careful out there. Lots of unwanted guests.” Before Jongdae can ask what he means by that, the man is already walking away, whistling an old song. 

Jongdae stares after the officer.  _ Odd.  _ Soon enough though, his car is packed and he’s headed back to the house. 

-

When Jongdae enters he shouts a hello and waits for Chanyeol’s answer but receives none. Even more strange, he feels a rush of air when setting down the bags. Since his first week here, Chanyeol and Baekhyun have been ever present. The silence is oddly deafening. 

He considers the fact that the pair do have lives outside of being his friend and staying at his house and decides to cook himself dinner and relax. Hopefully a bath can take care of the negative feelings he’s had flowing through his body since meeting the cop in town. Something about the man had just rubbed Jongdae the wrong way. 

Jongdae goes about putting away all their foods, moving around the kitchen with now practiced ease. A wave of sadness hits him at that moment. Remembering how he used to help his grandmother constantly. She was always there, showing him how to cut certain vegetables, explaining the proper way to cook rice. On occasion they’d make a desert and hide it away from his grandfather, like it was some kind of game. Standing at the sink, washing rice he frowns. It’s times like these where he realizes he’s not as over their passing as he thought. Almost like if he didn’t think about it, it never happened. Wasn’t real. They were on vacation. 

A noise from the oven breaks him out of his thoughts and he turns to see his water boiling over and spilling on the hot burners. He rushes to turn the heat down and reprimands himself for getting too deep into his own mind as always. 

Jongdae finishes cooking without any further problems and sets the leftovers in the fridge for Chanyeol and Baekhyun should they return and get hungry. 

Doing the dishes without Baekhyun’s laughter and Chanyeol’s terrible jokes brings Jongdae to the realization that he’s grown so used to them they’ve become a little part of his life without even knowing. They haven’t all known each other for very long but the comfortable ease of conversation and camaraderie had become the norm for Jongdae. Without them now the kitchen feels dim. Cold. 

Jongdae thinks he really needs to get to the bath sooner rather than later or he’s going to end up having an existential crisis in the kitchen. 

The stairs creak when he makes his way upstairs and he frowns. After weeks of no noise, suddenly the stairs have begun acting up. Tomorrow he’ll have to bring it up to Chanyeol. They still have all the floors to redo and he doesn’t want to have to worry about yet another thing falling apart in this house. 

All the doors are closed down the hallway and Jongdae leaves them that way because he respects privacy even though the other two men seem to have never learned the word. They could be sleeping. After all, they had been working hard the past couple of days fixing up the basement and getting it looking like an actual basement and less of a trash dump. 

Jongdae grabs a now pink colored set of sleep clothes from his wardrobe and heads into the tiny bathroom ready for the most relaxing bath he thinks he can get despite the chill outside. 

When he flicks on the lights he’s not prepared for the man standing behind him in the mirror. He’s not prepared for the icy hand that wraps around his mouth, preventing him from letting out the scream that threatens to rip from his throat. The man holds a finger up to his lips and lifts a bloody eyebrow. Jongdae’s heart beats so fast to the point where all the thumps blur together. He can see  _ through  _ the man. He can see that the man isn’t really a man at all but someone around their late teens. His eyes seem to be on the constant brim of tears. Puffy. Red and sad around the edges. Full lips and a square jaw to make a handsome face despite the missing piece of his skull. Jongdae’s eyes are drawn to the giant hole. Like it was bludgeoned. 

So many different emotions course through his mind. Fear. Pain. Confusion. And then the kid squeezes the back of Jongdae’s neck and suddenly he’s feeling terrified. He’s petrified and then he realizes it’s not his  _ own  _ emotions he’s feeling but the kids. He’s feeling the hurt. The panic. So bone deep it shakes him to his core and Jongdae swears he can hear the kids thoughts mixing with his. The  _ “Why me’s?”.  _ The simple  _ “No,” _ repeated like a mantra. Voice trembling and barely there. 

When Jongdae blinks - finds that his body can actually complete that simple action in the midst of this - the kid is gone. The bathroom has chilled significantly and Jongdae stands there still frozen in shock of what really just happened. Certainly.  _ Certainly.  _ It wasn’t real. It wasn’t. A figment of his overactive imagination. But. 

But. 

The kids fear had felt so real. His last breath. His tears and trembling thoughts. It had all felt too real to Jongdae. Hell. It had gone right through him. He couldn’t deny what he just experienced. A spirit. A ghost. Whatever word fit. Something not from this world or plane of existence. 

What can he do about it? Nothing. The kid hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t harmed him. Just made him experience his own hurt. Jongdae figures he’s supposed to do something. It’s not every day an entity shows you how they were killed. He doesn’t even know if he wants to bathe now considering how shaken up his body feels. Like life itself had been drained from it. Tired and cold all over. 

Bathe.  _ Bathe.  _ He repeats to himself. He can’t do anything tonight. Can’t solve anything on a sleepless mind. So he’ll bathe and then he’ll sleep and in the morning, he’ll figure out what happened to the kid or at least get some answers. 

When Jongdae makes to leave the bathroom after finishing his bath, he checks the mirror and pauses. 

A word is written in the fog of the glass. “Trust”. One of the few words he knows in Japanese. But it’s not the word that stops him. It’s the crossing out of the word.  _ ‘Don’t trust’ _ , it tells him. He hears the whisper of it in his ear and Jongdae shakes his head wanting to be rid of this. 

“Stop,” he says to the empty air around him. “I can’t help you tonight. Stop trying to get into my head.”

The warmth returns to the bathroom and the condensation begins to dissipate on the mirror and windowsill. Jongdae lets out a shaky breath and heads to bed for what will probably be the most uneasy sleep of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts ? questions ? 👀


End file.
